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"There are so many definitions," said Corey Zolcinski, a commercial real estate representative and disc jockey."Some people think that it means meeting for a drink."The age of the hookup certainly does not seem to mean a new era of free love."I know a lot of people who will go home with the same guy they have before just because it's not going to raise their number," explained Jennifer Babbit, 26, a publicist."A lot of my friends will say: ' I started having sex with this guy, but it only lasted a minute.I don't know if it counted,"' offered Beth Whiffen, a former associate editor at Cosmopolitan."I wish it were because my sex life would be much better," said Greg Kiely, 26, a former investment banker who is now applying to business graduate schools.While men are obviously central to the "The Hookup Handbook" ethos (do you want to hook up with a Metroman or a Himbo tonight? "A relationship isn't the easiest thing to maintain, but swearing off boys isn't a viable option either," the chapter on "Defensive Non-Dating" states.The courtship rites of this generation of urban singles seem to borrow from the mores of their grandmothers in the 1950's (date lots of boys; smooch, spoon, nuzzle or neck to your heart's content, but hold out for that pledge pin from Mr.
Lavinthal and her friends show that not much has changed in 30 years, except perhaps the verbs."I think it was sort of established in 1962 that you didn't have to be married to have a good life," she said.
"The result of this epiphany: You refuse to put yourself out there.
Instead, you just put out." As for the crowd assembled at One, where a party for Stolichnaya thundered in the background, the prospect of a serious relationship before the age of 25 seemed to hold all the appeal of a promotional party with a cash bar."It's not about courtship and the chase," Ms. "It's not that it's a free-for-all like the 60's, but it's about independent women staking their claim, making their mark and doing what they want."Ms. No one's going to say no to making out with a cute guy on a Saturday night."But while the language of the hook-up culture sounds debauched ("Drink Till He's Cute" is one chapter heading), most of the women who will plunk down .95 for the book are children of the 80's.
They are not waiting on Friday night hoping "he" will call. Not Exactly."It's not that people aren't dating," explained Ms.
Rozler, an editorial assistant at Allworth Press when she is not practicing nightclub anthropology. People still want to be in relationships, but they don't want to be settling."But even as they raise pink drinks in the air and roll their eyes at the absurdity of commitment, these are not women embracing sexual abandon.